Insult: You're as repulsive as a monkey in a negligee.
Answer: I look THAT much like your fiancée?

Insult: Would you like to be buried or cremated?
Answer: With you around, I'd prefer to be fumigated.

Insult: Every enemy I've met I've annihilated!
Answer: With your breath, I'm sure they all suffocated.

Insult: When your father first saw you, he must have been mortified.
Answer: At least mine can be identified.

Insult: You can't match my witty repartee.
Answer: I could, if you would use some breath spray.

Insult: I can't rest until you've been exterminated!
Answer: Then perhaps you should switch to decaffeinated.

Insult: You're the ugliest monster ever created.
Answer: If you don't count all the ones you've dated.

Insult: Heaven preserve me! You look like something that's died!
Answer: The only way you'll be preserved is in formaldehyde.

Insult: Killing you would be justifiable homicide.
Answer: Then killing you must be justifiable fungicide.

Insult: En garde! Touché!
Answer: Oh, that is so cliché!

Insult: Throughout the Caribbean my great deeds are celebrated!
Answer: Too bad they're all fabricated.

Insult: I'll skewer you, like a sow at a buffet.
Answer: When I'm done with YOU, you'll be a boneless fillet!

Insult: I'll leave you devastated, mutilated and perforated.
Answer: Your odor alone makes me aggravated, agitated, and infuriated!

 Insult: Coming face to face with me must leave you petrified.
Answer: Is that your face? I thought it was your backside!

Insult: I'll hound you night and day!
Answer: Then be a good dog. Sit! Stay!

Insult: I have never seen such clumsy swordplay!
Answer: You would have, but you were always running away.

Rottingham: Never before have I faced someone so sissified.
Answer: Is that your face? I thought it was your backside!

Rottingham: Your mother wears a toupee!
Answer: Oh, that is so cliché!

Rottingham: You're a disgrace to your species, you're so undignified!
Answer: At least mine can be identified.

Rottingham: Nothing on this earth can save your sorry hide!
Answer: The only way you'll be preserved is in formaldehyde.

Rottingham: Your looks would make pigs nauseated.
Answer: If you don't count all the ones you've dated.

Rottingham: My attacks have left entire islands depopulated!
Answer: With your breath, I'm sure they all suffocated.

Rottingham: You have the sex appeal of a Shar-Pei.
Answer: I look THAT much like your fiancée?

Rottingham: My skills with a sword are highly venerated.
Answer: Too bad they're all fabricated.

Rottingham: You'll find I'm dogged and relentless to my prey!
Answer: Then be a good dog. Sit! Stay!

Rottingham: I can't tell which of my traits has you the most intimidated.
Answer: Your odor alone makes me aggravated, agitated, and infuriated!

Rottingham: Your stench would make an outhouse cleaner irritated!
Answer: Then perhaps you should switch to decaffeinated.

Rottingham: When I'm done, your body will be rotted and putrefied!
Answer: Then killing you must be justifiable fungicide.

Rottingham: Your lips look as they belong on the catch of the day!
Answer: When I'm done with YOU, you'll be a boneless fillet!

Rottingham: I give you a choice. You can be gutted, or decapitated!
Answer: With you around, I'd prefer to be fumigated.

Rottingham: Nothing can stop me from blowing you away!
Answer: I could, if you would use some breath spray.

Rottingham: I have never lost a mêlée!
Answer: You would have, but you were always running away.