escape from monkey island insults

Ignatius Cheese Insults

Insult: Hey! Look over there!
Answer: Yes, yes, I know: It's a three head monkey.

Insult: Your knuckles I'll grind to a splintery paste.
Answer: I thought that the bean dip had strange taste.

Insult: Only once have I met such a coward.
Answer: He must have thought you everything you know.

Insult: Give up now, or I'll crush you like a grape.
Answer: I would if it would stop your WINE-ING!

Insult: I've got muscles in places you've never even heard of.
Answer: Aagh...! It's too bad none of them in your arms!

Insult: You arms are no bigger than fleas that I've met!
Answer: So THAT'S why your scratching...I'd go see a vet.

Insult: My ninety-eight year old grandmother has bigger arms than you.
Answer: Ungh...Yeah, but we both got better bladder control than you do.

Insult: I'm going to put your arm in a sling!
Answer: Why, ya studying to be a nurse?

Insult: Today by myself twelve people I've beaten.
Answer: From the size of your gut I guess they were all eaten! 

Insult: You're the ugliest creature I've ever seen in my life.
Answer: I'm shocked that you never gazed at your wife!

Insult: People consider my fist a lethal weapon.
Answer: Sadly, your breath should be equally reckoned.

Insult: My forearms have been mistaken for tree trunks!
Answer: An over-the-counter defoliant could help with that problem.

Insult: I've out-wrestled octopi with these arms!
Answer: I'm sure that spineless creatures everywhere are humbled by your might.

Insult: My stupefying strength will shatter your ulna into a million pieces.
Answer: I'm surprised you can count that high!

Insult: Do I see quivers of agony dance on your lip?
Answer: It's laughter that's caused by your feathery grip

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Revised: July 30, 2001 17:57:59 .

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