Ever wondered why some girls can stop a guy at 10 paces and others make him run for cover? Do you know how to tell a gold-digger from your perfect wife? Join me in on another trip into the bizarre world of Japanese television and discover ‘Ageman’ – girls who bring good fortune!
The Japanese television show is called ‘Ariehen Sekai’ – Unbelievable World – and showcases all sorts of strange and funny things. In this particular episode, we see a rapping glasses salesman and the girls of good fortune. How can a guy called Hidenori Sakurai make the outrageous claim that, simply by looking at three features on a woman’s face: her ears, nose and mouth, a person can tell how much luck she will bring to a guy? Alrighty then, first things first – what exactly is an ‘Ageman’ (あげまん)?
An Ageman is a girl who can bring a man good fortune, basically in the form of love, money and success in life. The Japanese word, pronounced ‘Ah-gay-man’, can be broken down into two parts, literally meaning ‘Up’ (Age) and ‘Vagina’ (Man – a shortened version of the Japanese slang word for vagina). The opposite of an Ageman is a Sageman – ‘Down’ ‘Vagina’. So effectively, girls who raise a man’s fortune and girls who drag him down.
Above: The three things an Ageman can bring a man: love, money and success. What are the traits of an Ageman?
#1 – Someone who raises a man’s fortune
#2 – Motherly and somebody a man can feel safe with
#3 – Someone with energy that can help a man to grow and be successful
The man behind this theory? Hidenori Sakurai! Here he is below:
He says there are three things to look for in picking out your dream girl from the crowd: The height of her ears, the shape of her nose and the tightness of her mouth. Just why? And how?! Read on!
How to pick out an Ageman
1) Tell an Ageman by looking at the height of her ears.
A woman with tall ears is a Sageman (not good!) and a woman with low ears is an Ageman (good!). Why is this!? According to Sakurai-sensei, it’s all to do with evolution:
Animals tend to have their ears on the top of their heads – taller – whereas Chimpanzees and human beings tend to have much lower ears, showing their ability to think and reason. A woman with taller ears – the traits of a Sageman – is likely to suck a guy of all his vigor, in a sexual, financial and business sense!
2) Tell an Ageman by looking at the shape of her nose
A woman with a rounder nose is said to have more ‘mothering’ qualities, because the shape of the nose represents the breasts. The nostrils represent the nipples, so larger nostrils means larger nipples. According to Sakurai-sensei, anyway.
A woman with a more pointed, thinner nose, by contrast, is said to have a man’s nose. Since the nose represents the breasts, a pointed nose indicates more pointed breasts, which would be difficult for a baby to feed by. A more pointed nose also indicates that the woman’s eyes wander – that she is ‘easy’, and thus causes men to be more wary of her. It is as if, as Sakurai-sensei puts it, it is a chest ‘easily felt by anyone’. As the guest on the program, Nishikawa, notes, ‘as a woman I would find that a good thing!’ ^^;
3) Tell an Ageman by looking at the tightness of her mouth
A woman with a mouth that is tighter and more often than not ‘closed’, is said to be three things: the female genitalia, a wallet and how much she talks.
So basically, a woman with a more closed and sealed mouth is also more likely to be a) well behaved and not sexually loose, b) be careful and prudent with money (i.e. have a tight wallet) and c) not talk a lot. In contrast, a girl with a more open mouth is said to be ‘inviting’ men to her and is more likely to have affairs and waste money (etc). Hmm.
With that, we take to the streets of Tokyo and look for examples of Ageman. The 77-year old Sakurai-sensei hunts down 5 girls!
Hunting down Ageman
Sakurai-sensei takes us on a hunt for the ‘perfect Ageman’, looking at 5 girls of varying degrees of ‘fortune’ along the way.
#5) First up, Sayaka, 22 years old.
Sakurai-sensei gives her 60/100, marking her down because of her very tall ears and the tendency for her mouth to be open – ‘inviting men’ as he says. She’s very ‘animalistic’. I don’t know abut you, but that could be darn good in some men’s books!
#4) Next up, Saki, 24 years old.
Here, Sakurai-sensei compliments her on her pretty nose and ears reeking of rationality, but scolds her for having a mouth too big. He points out that she’s been glancing around at all the men in the coffee shop ever since he arrived! She gets a more modest ranking of 78.
#3) Third, we have the 21 year old Natsuko.
Natsuko apparently has a nose made for giving birth. With a beautiful roundness to it and wide nostrils representing the good tools to feed a baby, she scores points in Sakurai-sensei’s good books for motherliness. She scrapes in at the 80 mark!
#2) The penultimate girl, 21 year old Miu working at a Cabaret Club. (At 21??)
Here we see Sakurai-sensei’s infatuation with the lips and mouth. As he noted earlier the mouth represents ‘that place down there’, to which he points, over and over again. He tells Miu that she has many vertical lines on her lips and that these lines will also exist for her ‘down there’. She replies saying that men often tell her she has a special ‘something’. Sakurai-sensei looks pleased with himself and awards her a bouncy 83 points.
#1) Number 1! Sakurai-sensei picks out the 24 year old Minako.
Hopping along with a gleam in his eye and a sparkle in his smile, he indicates to us that perhaps, just maybe, we find find that elusive ‘perfect Ageman’ right here in this teashop. A nice lady with low ears, a taut mouth and an unusual nose is presented to us. Sakurai-sensei seems blown away – her nose is a mixture of a man’s and a woman’s, a little tall and thin with wider nostrils and a gentle roundness. He seems so taken he awards her 97 points!
It looks like we didn’t find a perfect Ageman in the end, but what a search it was! Don’t just take my word for it, join Sakurai-sensei and watch the clips for yourself. I spent the time to subtitle the lot for you – click the button in the bottom right-hand of the Youtube window to select them if they don’t show automatically.
So, what are your thoughts? Aside from the fact Sakurai-sensei didn’t really give any real evidence for his theories (however convincing they sounded), I thought it was an interesting look the young girls in Japan today, and a pretty funny Japanese television show! Certainly, if you’re ever in need of a chat-up line, you might try your hand at psycho-analysis. I hear it can be pretty popular with the ladies! ^^
Have you ever found a girl attractive by her having certain features? What drew your attention to her and what did her personality prove to be like after you got to know her? For the ladies reading – what about for men?