…is what I’ve done today. Okay, ignore the paradox, but yea, I got up at 12.30pm after staying up until 3.00am trying to configure my wireless ADSL line and get rid of some blasted popup/toolbar thing that had decided to embed itself in my browser. Lots of registry deletions removed most of it so it couln’t function anymore. So today I’ve just surfed around doing nothing productive and I’ve been downloading lots of AFI stuff, which is growing on me a lot more now.
Check out this site! It completely rocks ^_^
I have loads of schoolwork and revision to do, so I’ll have to start that properly tomorrow. And right now I feel like starting a discussion. Granted this is not a message board, and there are properly only 2 or 3 people who will reply, but I still want to anyway. I remember a similar post I made on a forum some time ago, but here, I’ll start it again; (cut for practical reasons):
I advise you to read these two pages before reading my own thoughts/questions:
Those of you who know me will immediately recognise that these are the very basic guidelines I usually ramble on about when a subject on relationships arises, mainly because these were the sources I found that made me re-think my take on relationships ^_^;.
With that new knowledge in mind, what are you thinking? This idea of conditional love for someone seems perfectly understandable; we experience it all the time within our lives – in movies, books and people. Everywhere, the idea that, if the person held in confidence makes a mistake, we love them less. I’m not suggesting for a moment that this is the only view, but it seems to be more prevalent than it’s opposing view of unconditional love. An example of unconditional love might be that of a parent towards the child. One would hope that the parent would always ‘love’ the child even if the child did make a mistake or get into trouble (etc).
But to what extent is this idea of unconditional love applicable? I agree with the point about choosing to love someone, as in, accepting him or her with open eyes, their ‘faults’ – and the stuff you don’t like so much about them – included. I think ‘falling in love’ in the traditional sense can be generally categorised as infatuation or ‘a crush’. We see someone we are physically attracted to, or spend some time with someone and begin to like him or her, would, I think, fall into this infatuation category. After time has passed and we have gotten to know the person better – usually when we begin to see ‘negative’ aspects about the person – and we still remain affectionate towards him or her, can we realise that it may be more than ‘a crush’. Perhaps we can now say we ‘love’ this person, as it was described in the link. Admitting to love someone is part of being a healthy adult, right?
Okay. If we accept that, what would constitute to a ‘more-than-friend’ relationship? Is it just the physical attraction? Or is there another – perhaps ethereal and incorporeal – ‘thing’ that binds two people into the love needed in a stable and long-lasting relationship? Or is it just a mutual decision by the two that they wish to commit themselves and remain with each other exclusively? And what would we think about polygamy (having more than one spouse) here? Is it possible to really ‘love’ (as in, the love you would imagine exists between a happy couple) more than one person simultaneously?
And back to the idea of conditional love. Is it really possible to accept someone completely and be able to forgive them of any mistakes? For example; if one of the couple committed adultery, is it really reasonable to hold that their aficionado (lover – new word for the day :P) could just forgive them? I suppose it could be argued that by committing adultery in the first place, the couple were never truly in love to begin with. I would probably tend to agree with this idea, unless the situation was more complicated and involved the use of alcohol or some other mind-altering drug.
So that’s probably long enough for today. Basically, the points to consider if you want to discuss: Is it possible to love more than one person? What does ‘love’ between a healthy and committed couple comprise of in order to amalgamate (unite – sorry, I like using jargon/technical language and long words :P) them? Is unconditional love really possible in a relationship – between two aficionados or compadres (friends), regardless? Feel free to use examples of experience, because I have none in this field, so I’m only reasoning out my answers from what I’ve seen throughout my life ^_^;